Vaudeville Lives: Shtick with Us @ The Skokie Theatre

Today’s guest blogger is retired comedian, Joe Faromone, reviewing the Vaudezilla production of Shtick with Us at the Skokie Theatre.

Some of these performers will appear Tuesday, February 16 @ Blue Bayou, 3734 N Southport Ave. Chicago. 10 PM!

So, I heard that there was going to be strippers in Skokie and I’m like that’s great because the only stripping I ever seen in Skokie was when my ex-wife got rid of the paint in our living room.  I told her to get rid of the living room and she told me to get the hell out of the house. But I digress.

Mel the Clown (Noel Williams)

The show begins not with a stripper but with this pretty young thing dressed in red wearing striped stockings named Mel. And a red clown nose. She was on the telephone and being really silly and I wondered if she was one one of the strippers. But she’s not. But she’s really funny. Like a cross between Goldie Hawn from Laugh-In and a Slinky.

Then they have this business about a cable TV show and a pledge drive and this guy who supposed to be a washed-up actor who had a hit show when he was 7.

Tomas

So, then come the acts. And the acts are the best part of the show, but then that’s what a variety show is. Anyway, the first act is this kid. The “Amazing Tomas” or “Tomas the Great” or something, but the kid is good. Short kid, comes out and says he wearing a “Salvation Armani” jacket. Good patter. Like rap or whatever the hell the kids do. He shouts out to the “847″ like they do. Except the “847″ is the suburbs so it’s funny.

He does rope tricks where you cut them and they come together and they come apart. Which is pretty good. But then he “shows his skills” where he ties a knot just with like one hand dangling the rope.

In between the acts, they’ve got this craziness with the girls answering the phones; Siren Jinx, Maria May I, and that Mel with the nose. I keep thinking they’re going to take off their clothes but they don’t.

Then Ms. Barrett All does a fan dance. Just like that one from the World’s Fair, Ann Rand.  This lady has got some skills as well cause the blue feathers on this fan hide every thing until she’s ready to give up it up. And she’s rolling around on the stage, wiggling her hips, shaking her platinum blonde wig and waving her spike heeled shoes. And I can tell you when she was ready, so was I.

One of the girls, Maria May I, who’s a bespectacled slender blonde, starts to sing “Unchain my Heart” and she’s got a surprisingly growly voice which is kind of a turn on.

Next, is a strange act even in an evening of strange acts. Irma Bumstead-Winterbottom walks out on stage and looks like she’s smoking a cigarette but isn’t cause it’s a not a cigarette. And she’s a burlesque-personal trainer. She gets this guy out of the audience and makes him do dirty yoga positions and then rides him like a horse while she drinks “homemade prison hooch.” But it didn’t smell like hooch to me. But that’s the show-biz part.

Now we get back to stripping and this little blonde, curly haired firecracker named Wham Bam Pam hits the stage in a Betty Boop like dress that she quickly removes to reveal red, white and blue spangled undies that made me proud to me an American.

Wham Bam Pam

Another of the pretty girls answering the phones gets up to sing and that’s Siren Jinx. She has got some pipes even though she kept her clothes on.

Normally I’m not much of an art lover but this Red Hot Annie did some painting that touched my artistic soul. Or some place. Cause, this tall sexy redhead comes out wearing some lingerie and a painting of a bra and panties where her bra and panties should be. Then she’s starts painting with skin colored paint where her skin should be. And there was a saucy look in her eye when she got to the good parts. Then she takes off her top but the painting is still there. And then takes off the painting but the curtain is still. That was a strip tease.

Greta (Paris Green) photo by K. Leo

The final act was a show stopper. As part of the set up, this big gal named Greta is bossing everyone around and being very corporate and threatening. It turns out she had been a stripper and somehow she is tricked into doing her thing.

Well, let me tell you, Greta has got all the moves and she’s got a lot to bump and grind and she shares it with the audience who was whooping and hollering to beat the boombox.

This is a good show because its entertainment not like where you get hustled for drinks and I could have used a few more bumps and grinds and less of the set up but then who the hell am I.

You can find out about these girls and see some pretty hot (r-rated) video at http://vaudezilla.com/